twenty seven | Mayfield's ugliest individuals: a literary documentation

[strike_you_out]

[Phone; a simple question asked in a quiet voice]

Who's the most dangerous person you know in Mayfield? Tell me about them. Zemekis has been noted.


Action; 726 Anderson Lane
[For several months now, Slugger has been compiling profiles of Mayfield's most dangerous people. It's a project he's tentatively titled "Mayfield's Worst Morons" (subject to change) and one he hopes will be useful for himself and those he considers allies. Included are descriptions of the town's top offenders, such as the Black Mage and the Major with crude but accurate sketches and "danger ratings", small bars scaled 1-10 based on their powers and likelihood to attack. Zemekis, of course, is the reigning champion king of worst morons with many pages dedicated to him/it. Other examples include:


The Black Mage
(under the name are two drawings of a fat man in long robes; one has a paper bag over his head, the other wears a large wizard hat)
alias: "Dr. Evilwizardington"
residence: 753 Partridge Drive
occupation: fake doctor at hospital
danger rating: 9
description: Loud idiot who kills everything, attacks with lightning bolts, uses 'Bolt 1', 'Bolt 2', 'Bolt 3' incantations, pretty stupid, smells for 0.251 miles, his face is really...


The Major
(image depicts a fat smiling man in glasses and nazi uniform)
residence: ?
occupation: butcher, police officer
d-rating: 6
description: war-loving nazi, made of metal, attacks with guns, has a messenger named Schrodinger, has a blimp, attacks mostly when provoked, enjoys word games and inciting public rage, will talk in circles for hours


Doctor Fuyuhiko Date
(man in lab jacket and glasses, also smiling)
alias: "the Doctor"
residence: ?
occupation: fake doctor at hospital
d-rating: 7
description: says he controls the insane, can float, can grow to large size, has a tank driven by a cat(?), will crush anyone at random, consorts with the Major, seems somewhat intelligent, readily shares information when asked, wants to conquer all of Mayfield


The Joker
(an image of the Joker torn from a comic book and pasted here)
residence: ?
occupation: ?
d-rating: 6
description: interests: Batman, laughing; uses poisonous gas that can make you laugh until you die, delivers laughing gas in mail


Lex Luthor
(angry bald guy in hi-tech battle suit)
residence: 506 Ricardo Street
occupation: ?
d-rating: 2
description: not that dangerous, self-serving egomaniac, liable to attack allies, relies heavily on weapons, hates Superman, scalp may induce blindness under certain lighting conditions


Gilgamesh
(young blond guy with snooty grin and red eyes)
alias: "Hero King of Uruk"
residence: ?
occupation: ?
d-rating: 4
description: massive egomaniac, thinks he is the most powerful person in the universe, ignorant (had never heard of Zemekis), responds poorly to logic, can produce swords from invisible treasury and make them fly at people, attacks mostly when provoked


Despite the freezing temperatures, Slugger is seated on the steps of the front porch wearing his usual clothing with no coat. Balanced on his knees is a bound sketchbook on which he is busily scribbling away.]

Comments

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

[And look who's wrapping up with shoveling the front walk again. On his way back to the house, he passes by Slugger on the porch.]

What are you working on?

Action

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

[Sup bro. He was coming to check on you anyway, and moves to take a seat beside Slugger, peeking to see what he's got so far.]

Got another one to maybe add.

[roadroller]

... Well that depends. Did you kill me 'cause you were on mushrooms, or cause you felt like it? ♪

[phone]

[noluckduck]

Shit, tell me about 'em.

Action

[bread_goes_bip]

[Death is stopping by to make sure everything is okay here. She's wearing heavy clothing but it's not clear if it's due to the weather or just because she feels like it]

You're not cold?

Phone

[hellsing-knight.livejournal.com]

Making a list?

[miss-enma-ai.livejournal.com]

[Sitting next to him.]

How is coming along?

Action

[hungry-monster.livejournal.com]

[Walking by. Johan being a mental monster is dressed warmly. But he stops to walk over.]

What are you working on?

Phone

[walking-nuke.livejournal.com]

You know about'a roller rink, yeah? The trophy room? That's'a good place to start.

[And then it hits him.]

—who's Zemekis? The guy runnin'at company downtown?

Action

[deaths-heritor.livejournal.com]

[High approval of Lex's entry. Susan takes a quick look through the rest.]

Why is Black Mage rated the most dangerous on your list?

[hintcoinplz.livejournal.com]

[Luke seems to be looking over Slugger's shoulder.]

What are you doing?