twenty seven | Mayfield's ugliest individuals: a literary documentation

[strike_you_out]

[Phone; a simple question asked in a quiet voice]

Who's the most dangerous person you know in Mayfield? Tell me about them. Zemekis has been noted.


Action; 726 Anderson Lane
[For several months now, Slugger has been compiling profiles of Mayfield's most dangerous people. It's a project he's tentatively titled "Mayfield's Worst Morons" (subject to change) and one he hopes will be useful for himself and those he considers allies. Included are descriptions of the town's top offenders, such as the Black Mage and the Major with crude but accurate sketches and "danger ratings", small bars scaled 1-10 based on their powers and likelihood to attack. Zemekis, of course, is the reigning champion king of worst morons with many pages dedicated to him/it. Other examples include:


The Black Mage
(under the name are two drawings of a fat man in long robes; one has a paper bag over his head, the other wears a large wizard hat)
alias: "Dr. Evilwizardington"
residence: 753 Partridge Drive
occupation: fake doctor at hospital
danger rating: 9
description: Loud idiot who kills everything, attacks with lightning bolts, uses 'Bolt 1', 'Bolt 2', 'Bolt 3' incantations, pretty stupid, smells for 0.251 miles, his face is really...


The Major
(image depicts a fat smiling man in glasses and nazi uniform)
residence: ?
occupation: butcher, police officer
d-rating: 6
description: war-loving nazi, made of metal, attacks with guns, has a messenger named Schrodinger, has a blimp, attacks mostly when provoked, enjoys word games and inciting public rage, will talk in circles for hours


Doctor Fuyuhiko Date
(man in lab jacket and glasses, also smiling)
alias: "the Doctor"
residence: ?
occupation: fake doctor at hospital
d-rating: 7
description: says he controls the insane, can float, can grow to large size, has a tank driven by a cat(?), will crush anyone at random, consorts with the Major, seems somewhat intelligent, readily shares information when asked, wants to conquer all of Mayfield


The Joker
(an image of the Joker torn from a comic book and pasted here)
residence: ?
occupation: ?
d-rating: 6
description: interests: Batman, laughing; uses poisonous gas that can make you laugh until you die, delivers laughing gas in mail


Lex Luthor
(angry bald guy in hi-tech battle suit)
residence: 506 Ricardo Street
occupation: ?
d-rating: 2
description: not that dangerous, self-serving egomaniac, liable to attack allies, relies heavily on weapons, hates Superman, scalp may induce blindness under certain lighting conditions


Gilgamesh
(young blond guy with snooty grin and red eyes)
alias: "Hero King of Uruk"
residence: ?
occupation: ?
d-rating: 4
description: massive egomaniac, thinks he is the most powerful person in the universe, ignorant (had never heard of Zemekis), responds poorly to logic, can produce swords from invisible treasury and make them fly at people, attacks mostly when provoked


Despite the freezing temperatures, Slugger is seated on the steps of the front porch wearing his usual clothing with no coat. Balanced on his knees is a bound sketchbook on which he is busily scribbling away.]

Comments

[strike-you-out.livejournal.com]

[Slugger looks up from his work and turns to the first page where the working title is written: 'Mayfield's Worst Residents'. ]

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

Mind if I take a look?

[He leans his shovel against the wall of the house, extending a hand for the book.]

[strike-you-out.livejournal.com]

[Pleased that Edward is interested, he readily hands it over. Edward's input could be useful.]

Tell me if I missed something.

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

[And Edward begins to flip through, taking note of each threatening individual Slugger's thought to include. Particularly, he makes a mental note of the people he doesn't already know: Gilgamesh and this Doctor Date. He'll smirk a bit after coming across the Major's name; at this point, a six seems like far too high a rating for someone like him. And the smirk grows even wider when Eddie comes to Lex Luthor's name---hell, he'll even chuckle a little bit at Slugger's description.]

He really should invest in a toupee, one of these days. [But the smirk fades away when he returns to the Joker's page.] I wouldn't consider the Joker to be quite that harmless. If I were you, I would consider flipping that six of his upside down.

There's another name you've neglected to add as well. [He reaches into his pocket, withdrawing a green ballpoint pen.] If I may do the honors?

[strike-you-out.livejournal.com]

[He watches every passing expression that appears on Edward's face. The suggestion regarding the Joker is considered with a nod. As for the un-added name, Slugger suspects it's one of two people--Crane or Johan, the latter of which he would secretly remove from the book later.]

...Is it Dr. Crane?

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

[Edward's midway through writing in the header, "Dr. Jonathan Crane," when Slugger pipes up. He pauses, glances back at the boy, and nods.]

I take it you've spoken with him?

[strike-you-out.livejournal.com]

In the bunker. He's the owner of the ring. Loves fear.

[What he doesn't know yet is how Crane uses fear.]

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

That's a bit of an understatement.

[And after a moment or so, Edward's scrawled out a page for Crane, which reads as follows:



Edward then hands the book back to Slugger.]

He isn't to be trusted. Not anymore.

[strike-you-out.livejournal.com]

[With the book back in his hands, he scans over the new information, grateful to finally know more about Crane's methods for spreading fear.]

Why not?

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

Let's just say that he and I had a bit of a falling out not so long ago.

[strike-you-out.livejournal.com]

Over what? [He heard you like questions, Edward.]

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

Last month, practically all of Mayfield had been haunted by their greatest fears. [He knows by now that Crane wasn't responsible for this outbreak, after overhearing a brief snippet of that small boy's phone call addressing the town at large shortly afterwards. Still.] Question: Upon hearing of such a strange occurrence, what do you suppose our dear friend, Jonathan Crane, decided to do?

[strike-you-out.livejournal.com]

[Oh. Yeah. He remembers that and visibly shrinks down.]

...Experiment?

[Though he can hardly blame Crane for that when he himself took advantage of the event before his own mind became affected.]

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

Precisely. [The word is spoken through gritted teeth.]

Hardly surprising. His twisted little obsession with fear has always been a higher priority to him than any allegiance he'll ever bother to form. [Like Edward's really able to criticize anyone who prioritizes his obsessions above other important affairs.

A pause, then:]

Ema was very close to becoming a test subject of his.

[strike-you-out.livejournal.com]

[Now it makes sense. Slugger nods once and looks down at the page again.]

Anything else?

[puzzlerprince.livejournal.com]

[Schuldig is another name that comes to mind. But for whatever reason, Edward doesn't put his name forth. It's strange, really: though Schuldig still approaches him in a rather antagonistic manner, there's something different about his behavior. He can't quite put a finger on it, but...]

No. Not at the moment. [It's not technically a lie. At this moment, he simply doesn't feel like talking about it. Is Schuldig a dangerous individual? Yes. He is. But he hasn't been a threat to Edward in months.]

What brought about this little project?

[strike-you-out.livejournal.com]

There are so many, I thought I should keep track...

[This technically isn't a lie, either. More like a half-truth.]