seven | never wanted to grow up

[strike_you_out]

[Call Placement. Addressing: Mayfield. Filters: none.] 


Requesting advice... 

About teeth.  [He may be sounding a bit worried.]

Specifically, how do I... reattach one? 


[Oh, the horrors of dental maturation. Slugger doesn't understand and suspects this is some unnatural and cruel act of nature. 

ALSO, if you are one Edward Nigma, there may be something (not a tooth) hidden beneath your pillow. That something would happen to be a sheep's liver stolen from the local butcher shop. Consider it a "welcoming gift" from your new "son". Note that he has been courteous enough to wait only two days before stuffing it under there instead of the intended seven because he just couldn't contain his excitement.]

Comments

[strike-you-out.livejournal.com]

...Sea captain?

[heartstar-blues.livejournal.com]

No, The Captain. It's my name. I'm a Super hero.

[strike-you-out.livejournal.com]

You? A superhero? [momentarily distracted]

Why?

[heartstar-blues.livejournal.com]

Why what?

[strike-you-out.livejournal.com]

Why would you be one of those?

[Nothing but bad news, superheroes.]

[heartstar-blues.livejournal.com]

I got into it for the mask.

[strike-you-out.livejournal.com]

Oh.

I thought you meant a real superhero.

[heartstar-blues.livejournal.com]

I was a real super hero. You know. Flying, super strong and nearly impossible to kill.

You know, the generic stuff.

[strike-you-out.livejournal.com]

But... aren't you a human?

[heartstar-blues.livejournal.com]

Yeah? So?

[strike-you-out.livejournal.com]

How can a human be nearly impossible to kill?

[He's always found it rather easy. Most of the time...]

[heartstar-blues.livejournal.com]

I had magic. The Heart Star.

I punched through the engine block of an air ship and kicked cars down the block. Got shot at and smashed a bunch of times too. Couldn't stop me. Stung like ☠☠☠☠ though.

[strike-you-out.livejournal.com]

Heart Star... Does it cure contagious diseases?

[heartstar-blues.livejournal.com]

No... so that's why you better stay the ☠☠☠☠ away from me leper kid.

[strike-you-out.livejournal.com]

You can't be sure I will.

I could be your next door neighbor.

1/2

[heartstar-blues.livejournal.com]

...

2/2

[heartstar-blues.livejournal.com]

You know what cures diseases right?

Fire.

[strike-you-out.livejournal.com]

Not even fire will stop it from spreading. It will find you.

[Breeeathes into the line. The GERMS, can't you hear them!]

[heartstar-blues.livejournal.com]

AAAH!

[Hangs up.]