eight | stupid holiday nonsense... bull

[strike_you_out]

[Phone |  The telephone cord stretches from the kitchen all the way to the first step outside the door on the side of the house where, hopefully, this call will go unheard by other members of the household. "Christmas" and "gift-giving" are still very strange concepts in Slugger's mind.]


What do--

... ...

[Dammit, why is he even--  

Just. Spits it out.]    ...What do "mothers" like?


[Action |  While he ponders this, Slugger will be out shoveling snow off the driveway. It may look like a chore but he's actually doing this to uncover the icy death-trap and personal skating rink he created last week (which covers the entire driveway, the side-walk in front, and part of the street.)

And once the driveway is cleared, he'll be skidding up and down it -- he really does miss his skates. No, he does not care that he's about to cross into the direct trajectory of that oncoming vehicle.

SIDE-NOTE: One Edward Nigma may find that his socks have mysteriously gone missing...]

Comments

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

Yeah.

I felt...compelled to.

Guess we'll have to see how it screws everyone who used it over.

[strike-you-out.livejournal.com]

[Not looking forward to it.]

What did you ask for?

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

I kept it simple. A lasergun.

[And for this one kid he's grown somewhat attached to have a nice Christmas, but like fuck he'll tell you that Slugger.]

[strike-you-out.livejournal.com]

Skates and a bat.

[Yeah, you keep that typical sentimental human dumbassery to yourself. Bet's on Mindy.]

Lasergun. Planning to use it on someone?

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

Maybe the skates'll eat your feet or something. I dunno.

[Shut up Slugger you don't know nothing. Don't know NOTHIN'! But yes, you are correct.]

Plenty of people. You want a place in line?

[strike-you-out.livejournal.com]

Who's first in line?

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

Oh, take a wild guess.

[strike-you-out.livejournal.com]

Besides Lucy, Grady, and usual suspects.

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

Going to stretch this out, huh pig's butt?

[strike-you-out.livejournal.com]

I can't be the only one.

[There has got to be at least one resident you hate more than him, right? Or does he have the honor?]

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

Well, there's the psychotic robo-witch. ...So I guess you're the second slot, since you at least had the decency to give me some kind of obtuse warning I was about to die. Even if I WAS friggin' drugged out of my gourd.

[strike-you-out.livejournal.com]

[He remembers her and that day.]

Why'd she kill you? Was it because of the sentry?

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

She kept wanting to see it. I said no.

So I hit her in the head with a wrench.

[strike-you-out.livejournal.com]

...

[Listen carefully and you might hear a single laugh/weird breath.]

So your line only has two people?

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

Only two that I feel like killing immediately. Sorry. I have actual reasons for hating the people I hate. I have style that way. I'm not a classless dong like you.

[strike-you-out.livejournal.com]

[FFFFFFFFFFFT STYLE.]

I thought your list would be miles long.

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

Well you're just the first two. I mean, it's not like I like people here. They'll all get their turn eventually.

[strike-you-out.livejournal.com]

Wouldn't that only make them angry?

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

If I'm going to kill them, there's not exactly any love lost between me and them, Slugger.

[strike-you-out.livejournal.com]

You plan to keep them dead somehow?

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

That would be ideal.

But here? Unlikely to happen.

[strike-you-out.livejournal.com]

So then what?

They'd all just take turns killing you when they come back.

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

I don't know! The lasergun was a friggin' afterthought to begin with! I'm more or less trying to keep FROM killing people, because they won't stay dead and aside from you and robo-witch, I don't have any real reason to be pissed at them most of the time.

Jesus. Happy now, jerkface?

[strike-you-out.livejournal.com]

...

[Sorry, were you saying something, Pokey? He sort of dropped the phone into the snow. Just kidding, he heard (most of) your rant.

Anyway, OUT OF NOWHERE]

Thanks... For the advice. About the gift?
[Remember? Before he led you off on that tangent?]

[godisachild.livejournal.com]

I...you...

[God, he hates you, Slugger.]

Yeah. You're welcome.